complete panic in one screenshot
IT SUDDENLY GOT REALLY DARK IN HERE LIKE as if someone stood in front of our brightest lamp and it freaked me out so bad cause i thought “GHOSTS??? DEMONS?????” and i turned around and all i saw was
MY TYPE OF FUCKING PARTY
TURNT THE FUCK UP
talk dirty to me
this is the sort of web content i am looking to see every day
no matter how many followers you have the same 10 people will reblog posts from you
it doesn’t matter how many “pretend to be dating” fics i read, i’m always fucking in it headfirst every time and i fall for that shit every time. i know the pattern i know the plot twists i know what’s gonna happen but every single fucking time i’m fucking on the edge of…
those moments when straight people assume you’re one of them and you feel like a gay secret agent
it’s an ace case
pan with a plan
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
that was a wild ride
Robin Thicke is unapologetic about how rapey ‘Blurred Lines’ is, meanwhile the dude who parodied it issues a public apology for one word.
And that is just one reason why I love Weird Al.
Note how Weird Al doesn’t make songs mocking fat people anymore either. It’s almost like people are capable of learning and changing their behavior for the better.
KFC employees truly do not care about anything. ask for a 10 piece and they give you 15
I’m a fellow whovian and i can confirm this
James Potter accidentally shifting into Animagus shape when someone gives him a scare, and the first night Harry starts screaming in the middle of the night Lily isn’t sure if she’s still dreaming when she sees a distressed deer jumping against the bedroom door
IS EVERYONE JUST GOING TO ADD THAT GIF TO ALL MY JAMES POTTER POSTS ARE YOU SERIOUS
I ALMOST SPIT OUT MY CEREAL OMFG